Kaiba's Bad Day
by ariesdragon
Summary: rating just to be safe, Kaiba has a bad, and very random day, losing everything he holds a dear in a very random and funny way. Summary sucks, just read please.


Disclaimer

Ariesdragonchan: I don't own Yugioh or Kool-aid

Kaiba: Thank Goodnes

Ariesdragonchan: Hey, at least the stories's about you

Kaiba: Like that's a good thing

Ariesdragonchan: It is, sort of

Kaiba: You babify me, and you ::gets mouth covered::

Ariesdragonchan: Do you want's to give away the story

Kaiba: Yes

Ariesdragonchan: --; Whatever, on with the fic and don't forget to leave a review

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Kaiba looked like he was seeing red, how could Yugi have become valecdictorian over him, his grades had always been better than Yugi's.

"Umm, cheer up Kaiba, It's not that bad." said Tea holding, a large pecuilar pink book.

"Err, I'll prove I'm smarter, Yugi Moto I challenge you to a game of chess." Kaiba said over dramatically, pointing at Yugi, a gust of wind from nowhere blowing his trenchcoat back.

"Umm, okay but I never played before..." Yugi said a little too cheerily.

-10 Minutes Later-

"I guess that's checkmate." said Yugi happily. Kaiba was seething. "Umm, good game..." Yugi said innocently. Kaiba's eyes twitched.

"Umm, at least your still the riches one." Tea offered. Kaiba nodded. Suddenly Joey came busting into the room.

"Aww right guys, I just one the lottery, I'm a trillionaire." Joey said doing a happy dance. Kaiba looked at him in disbelief.

"Mutt, how did you get in here, and how did you know where we were?" Kaiba asked. Joey blinked and put a finger to his mouth and crossed his eyes, thinking hard.

"Umm, uhh, ow my head hurts!" Joey said rubbing his head.

"What's going on?" Tristan said suddenly next to Kaiba. Kaiba jumped out the with his arms up defensivly.

"Where did you come from?" Kaiba said holding his chest. Tristan shrugged.

"Ok calm down guys, Kaiba you should be happy that you at least have you health." Tea said. Suddenly Kaiba's answering machine came on.

"Mr.Kaiba, this is Doctor Kanako, we need you to come in and talk about your irriatable bowel syndrome, with constapation." the answering machine said.

"Umm, nevermind." Tea said taking a step backward from Kaiba. Everyone else followed suit. Kaiba's eye started twitching, he was seeing red.

"You know eyedrops will clear that right up." Marik said eating pink cotton candy, appearing from nowhere. Kaiba jumped back.

"Where did you come from, I thought you lived in Egypt." Kaiba siad out of breath.

"I'm here cause the authoress said so." Mark said shrugging and eating more cotton candy. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Now guys, you shouldn't make fun of Kaiba, at least you have, umm...nice clothes." Tea said. Suddenly Kaiba's clothes turned to rags.

"Okay, now this just isn't making any sense." Kaiba said, quite angrily.

"Oh, pish tosh, you just need a makeover." Tea said.

"Yeah, makeover's we'll help." Mai and Serenity shouted, popping out of nowhere.

"How do you people keep doing that?" Kaiba said looking around a trap door, under at teacup.

"Tha authoress said so, now come on!" Mai and Serenity shouted dragging Kaiba behind a trifold screen, that Tea had produced from nowhere.

"This should be intresting." Tristan said, eatin chips from nowhere.

"Betya five buck that nothing can be done." Joey said smiling at his lottery ticket.

Tea went behind the screen, with cloth. "Let the torture begin." Tea said.

"What?!" Kaiba shouted.

"I mean the make over." Tea said.

"I think this is nice." Mai said.

"You would." Serenity said.

"Don't touch that." Kaiba said.

"Oh, shutup." Tea said.

"Put that there, now put that there, oh yeah that's the way I like it." Mai said.

"Nice..." Serenity began.

"As, I was saying, puth that there." Tea said.

"I said don't touch that!" Kaiba shouted.

"I can't help myself..." Mai said, muttering somethin else incomprehensible.

"Grab that rod." Tea said.

"It says here to stick tab s into slot t." Serenity said.

"I'm not..." Kaiba began.

"Just shutup and take it like a man." Mai said.

"Oooo, furry." Serenity said.

"Now wait just a minute." Joey said marching toward the screen. He peeked, saw Kaiba and screamed. "It burns!" he shouted, trying to claw his eyes out, then shielding his eyes and running away.

"Where were we, oh yes..." Tea said.

"Why don't you three do yourselves." Kaiba said.

"We've done ourselves, and each other tons of times, it's much more fun with you." Mai said.

"Whoa, it's big." Serenity said.

"Big and furry." Mai said.

"It's supposed to be hard stupid, hard enough to hang things from." Kaiba said.

"Still, you could poke someone's eye out with it." Tea said.

"Well it is, _my_ sword." Kaiba said.

"And a very nice sword it is." Mai said.

"Now stick it in here." Serenity said.

"No, first you stick it in there, then you pull it out and put back put it cack in the other one to get it inside, then you slide and stick it in here." Kaiba said.

"Ohhh, so that's how come your sword is so long and hard." Serenity said.

:Yup, hey look it's another sword." Serenity shouted.

"That one's Mokuba's." Kaiba said.

"Why is Mokuba's sword just lying on the floor." Tea asked.

"We were using it one night and it broke." Kaiba said.

"Anywho, now that we have something to hang outfits on back to work." Tea said.

"This is way to limp to be useful." Mai said.

"It just hangs there." Serenity said.

"Stick it in her, we'll deal with it later." Tea said.

"I just can't stick it anywhhere, it may be limp and small but it's mine." Kaiba said.

"Here put it in my hand and I'll hold it." Mai said.

"Okay, that looks good there." Serenity said.

"Stick this here." Mai said.

"And here." Tea said.

"And here." Serenity said.

"Alright, alright jeesh, hold your horses, I'm only one guy.." Kaiba said. Finally they came out.

"What the heck were you guys doing in there!?!?" Tristan and Marik shouted.

"giving Kaiba a make over Tea said.

:"Are you sute that's all you were doing?" asked Tristan.

"What do you mean?" Tea asked.

Kaiba walked out in a big, furry pimphat, with all kinds of beads, logos, and rhinestones stuck on it. With a new chain on his duel monster's locker, it was obviously homemade with a little piece that was uneven that said tabe s. There was a long, fake, sword that really was almost as hard as a real one, at his side on a rack, where clothes hung off of, obviously a ornamental closet on wheels. And in Kaiba's pocket, on his pimpsuit there was a limp and small fake rose.

Tristan blinked. "Well that explains a lot, but what about the rod Tea asked about." Tristan asked.

"You mean this?" Tea asked holding out a small plastic rod filled with rhinestones.

"Well what about when you said Mokuba's sword broke?" Marik asked.

"Oh, it was a piece of the ornamental rack I bought, Mokuba had one, and I had one, we were playing around, hitting each other with them like pirates, when it broke." Kaiba said.

"Oh, but what were you telling don't touch that about?" Tristan asked.

"I said I couldn't help myself!" Mai screamed. Everyone looked at Mai like she was an alien. Mai turned beat read.

"Don't worry Mai, I'll save ya from embarssement." Joey said, appearing on a balcony from nowhere in a zorro out fit. "High Hoe Mai, away!" Joey screamed swinging on a rope from nowhere and swinging away with Mai, everyone watched the spectacle.

"Anywho...who likes Kaiba's new look?" Tea said turning around like nothing had happened. The only reply was crickets chirping. "Ok, wel'll ditch this outfit." Tea said spinning kaiba around until he was a tornado, clothe flew out of the tornado and more stuff was thrown in. Kaiba stopped spinning & was in a frilly pink dress. He looked down and blinked.

"Aahhh!" He screamed in a girly highpitched voice. Everyone stared at him like he was an alien. He blinked and cleared his throat. "Err, umm, I mean aahhh!" He said screaming at the end in his deep rasy boice.

"Oopsm sorry Seto." Tea said.

"Don't call me Seto, it's Kaiba to you." Kaiba said,

"Oh why not?" Tea said pouting. "I'll give you a kiss." Tea cooed.

"I don't want to kiss you." Kaiba said.

"Fine then." Tea said blowing him a rasberry. She spun him around again and dressed him in a pirate's outfit...

-5 hours later-

"This is all I have left." Tea said tiredly, throwing more clothes on Kaiba. He stopped spinning and ended up in a black trenchcoat, and an extremely dark purple, almost black, and black pants a.k.a the same exact thing he had on to begin with, only not rags.

"Now that's perfect!" Tea said smiling happily at her work. Kaiba sweat dropped. Suddenly Yami walked by wearing nothing. He walked up to a bowl grabbed an apple and walked off.

"Eww, when did he get his own body." Tristan asked.

"I don't care." Tea and Serenity said dreamily.

"Dang it, that blasted fool always wins." Marik said walking off huffily.

Duke suddenly appeared next to Kaiba. "He has his own body because the authoress said so." he said. Kaiba jumped back and hit the table knocking over a table, spilling orange glitter and kool-aid all over his outfit, ruining his clothes.

"Dang it!" He said trying to brush the glitter off.

"O.k calm down Kaiba, you still have Mokuba." Tea said. Kaiba nodded happily. Suddenly a knock came on the door, Kaiba went to answer to see two men in gray suits.

"Mr. Kaiba we're with social services." One guy said.

"I'm sorry." Kaiba said sincerely.

"Me too." said the other guy. Then they observed a moment of silence.

"Anyway as I was saying, Mr.Kaiba were here from social services because we just realized that we gave you custody of one Mokuba Kaiba wher you were 10 we're not quite sure how that worked but we'll have to take him away." the guy said. Then Mokuba materialized behind them, and they left. Kaiba started waterfall crying.

"Pssst guys over here." Tea said. Serenity, Duke, and Tristan walked over followed by Yugi. Joey and Mai came back from nowhere. Marik and Yami came over, Yami now wore a kilt and nothing else. Everyone eyed Yami.

"Do we even want to know?" Duke asked.

"Can't a guy feel like wearing a kilt without twenty questions?" Yami said waving his arms in the air. Everyone stared at him.

"Anywho, I called you here because of this." Tea said slamming her large pecuilar pink book from before on the table.

"It's very pink." Joey said in a like that's very nice but you don't really mean it kind of voice.

"No, not that." Tea said opening up the huge thing (think 30 dictionaries stackwd togheter, one on top of the other) "I'm talking about code 8400, paragraph 90 sub paragraph 70 sub section b of the friendship code all friends cheer each other up in times of need." Tea said. Everyone looked at Kaiba, who was babyfied and pounding the floor with his fist and his feet.

"He does looke pretty needy..." Tristan said.

"I say we make the ring of friendship." Tea said.

"I agree." said Bakura.

"Where'd you come from." Yami said grabbing a banana from nowhere and eating it.

:I don't ask the authoress." Bakura said putting on a frilly pink apron and going in the kitchen to make drinks.

"Hey, Kaiba come be out friend." Tea said. Kaiba stopped crying, and glared at her.

"I hate you all." he said bluntly.

"Oh your just saying that now come over." Tea said dragging him over to the group.

"Now put your hand in the circle." Tea said.

Kaiba arched an eyebrow. "Why?" he said.

"So I can draw the symbol of our friendship on our hands, that even when the marker fades away..." Tea said.

"Is this some kind of friendship cult?!?!" Kaiba said suddenly interuppting her.

"No, Kaiba it's not." Tea said crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes.

"Then why are you drawing symbols of your leader on your hand." Kaiba shot back.

"It's not symbols of you leader aiight Kaiba, it's just a smiley face is all," Joey said. "And anyway we've done this before so why's we gotta do it again?" Joey asked Tea.

"Cuz their's new people to induct into our circle." Tea replied a little to cheerily.

"I knew it, it is a friendship cult! Let me guess don't drink the kool-aid right." Kaiba said. Tea was about to say something when Bakura walked out of the kitchen, carrying a tray.

"righty-o mates now who wants kool-aid, I got the red kind." Bakura said holding it out. Suddenly Yami Bakura walked out in a frilly pink plaid skirt, and nothing else, that rivalved that of Yami's kilt, grabbed a glass and walked off. Kaiba arched an eyebrow. "That's it, I'm out of here." Kaiba said heading towards the door.

"Wait Kaiba come back." Tea said.

"Look Gardner all I have left is this house, my company, my dignity, and the clothes on my back and I'm not giving those up!" Kaiba shouted. Suddenly Kaiba was in his boxers and an eviction notice was on his doorn apparently Kaibacorp had went bankrupt and he no longer had enough money to do anything. Kaiba fell to his knees and cried river tears.

"Pssst guys, code 8400, paragraph 90 sub-paragraph 7-, sub section b, of the friendship code." Tea whispered, everyone nodded solemnly.

Everyone knelt next to him, and gave him a big group hug. "Cheer up Kaiba you still have us." Tea said, Kaiba started crying waterfall tears.

End

Ariesdragonchan: Well that's allplease review

Kaiba: I hate you

Ariesdragonchan: Why, what did I do?

Kaiba: Just look above

Ariesdragonchan: : oh that, hehehe, oh well it was fun.

Kaiba: You have issues you need to work out within yourself

Ariesdragonchan: Awww, I think someone needs hug ::hugs him::

Kaiba: Get Off Me!

Ariesdragonchan: Then say it.

Kaiba: Fine then,Please Review


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